Building a Better Bif

My name is Troy but you can call me Bif.
Have you ever just wanted to reinvent yourself? Have you ever felt like your life has gotten off track? Or feel like your batteries are drained, and you need a jump-start?
That's how I feel.
I need a change.
I need to focus a little more on me and get myself back on track. It's time to start... and finish... some Bif Improvement Projects.

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Location: Avon, Indiana, United States

I like to spout off my opinions. Go figure that I'd start a blog.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Bif, version 2.0

I've guess I've had a change of heart lately. I just don't feel angry anymore.

Maybe I'm getting older and wiser, or just tired. Maybe it's all the health problems and death in family and friends lately. I just can't get angry about stuff anymore. And I think it's a good thing. I feel like I've matured, to some degree.

And what is the outcome of an angry rant? You cause joy in the people who already agreed with you, and you enrage those who disagree. So anger benefits no one and only serves to widen the gulf between the two sides. I can only see benefit coming from tolerance, patience and love for your fellow man. If folks disagree, progress only happens when they compromise and meet on some common ground.

And I'm not alone in this belief. I now see that this wisdom has been floating around me all along and I've been blind to it. Jesus certainly "got it" (you could argue that his disciples didn't get it.) Gandhi lived it. Martin Luther King Jr. lived it.

I regret all the time I've spent berating those I don't agree with. And who am I to tell them they are wrong? When I've condemned Christian Fundementalism, isn't it the Fundamentalism that I'm opposed to? The rabid and irrational devotion to the cause? But aren't I just as guilty of un-thinking devotion to my cause, just from the other side? Fundementalism and any desire to NOT change, to NOT hear new input, to NOT let others in... that is the danger, not the beliefs themselves.

I have some work to do internally before I can help others. "To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right." -- Confucius

My core beliefs have not changed. I just don't see the point in arguing anymore. Caring about people is the only thing that will ever change anything. Making positive, peaceful changes in someone's life is the only way to improve their world, and really the entire world.

Have you heard the joke, "No matter how many times I cut this board, it's still not long enough."? That's how I see conflict and arguing now... you can't cut a board to make it longer. You can't argue your way to understanding. You can't fight your way to peace. You can't occupy countries and kill people to stop ideological movements. Name-calling and rhetoric and the entire franchise of "us vs. them" is useless as a tool for real change. Real Change happens in men's hearts. Men's hearts are not influenced by bullets or insults... only by love and compassion. That's it. Period.

Compassion allows empathy, empathy allows tolerance, tolerance allows open communication, and open communication serves change.

Two children are fighting over an orange. Mom steps in and stops the fight, and asks what is going on. Both children demand the orange, saying they each need it. Mom asks each child why they need the orange. Child one wants to eat it. Child two is making a recipe that calls for orange zest. So Mom peels the orange, giving the fruit to one child and the peel to the other. Both get exactly what they wanted.

I think the majority of conflict boils down to the above. If you just stop to listen to yourself and talk about what you really want... everyone can get what they need.

I'll say also that an unexamined soul probably doesn't really know what he wants. It's critical that we each explore our internal landscape to find what we really want. You don't really want a giant house... you just want your family to be safe and happy and you don't know any better way to get that than to buy a giant house in the suburbs. The american marketing treadmill has fed you the answer that they want... not what is best for you. You don't really want us to drill in a protected Artic preserve... you just want to be able to buy gas so you can provide for your family, and no valid "alternative" has been presented yet.

I'm going on record now that I am dedicating myself to finding/enabling/advertising those "alternatives" and promoting the agenda of peace, communication and compromise.